Abuse is defined as one or more behaviours of maltreatment administered towards another with an intention to gain power and control. There is an abundance of various types of abuse but for the sake of this article we will condense to the following most general forms of abuse to human beings:
- Bullying – a form of either or a combination of: verbal, emotional or violent abuse.
- Emotional – where the victim suffers emotional intimidation, manipulation & control etc.
- Economic – where the victim is deprived sufficient levels of necessities and resources, ensuring dependence and control.
- Neglect – where adequate levels of care and needs are withheld from the victim.
- Physical – where the victim endures actual physical harm inflicted via methods of violence.
- Sexual – where the victim is used against their will to provide sexual gratification to the abuser.
- Verbal – where the victim endures negative & damaging communication.
Bullying is usually performed by a significant person or by a group within the group setting itself. In schools it is reported that as high as 1 in 3 children will experience bullying at some point during their education. The internet and social media have made bullying even more widespread through such means.
Emotional Abuse includes manipulation, control and power over the victim’s own emotions, which is achieved over a period of time. Negative emotions commonly aroused by this style of abuse are fear, guilt and shame. Emotional abuse often develops into some other form of abuse over time.
Economic Abuse is often attached to other forms of abuse. This type of abuse withholds the access of certain necessities and resources which has a detrimental effect on the victim’s quality of life. One of the main resources is money, which the rationing of creates a strict and powerful control mechanism.
Other examples of restriction are education, employment, food, freedom, hygiene products, medicine, shelter, transportation etc. Economic abuse is also twinned with ‘Financial Abuse’ – which incorporates the abuse of the victim’s own finances with acts like cheating, debt creation, rationing and squander etc. This type of abuse is commonly projected onto elderly people, most often by members of their own family or carers.
Neglect is a situation where the victim cannot provide certain things for themselves and so rely on others to care and provide for them. These things may include healthcare, nutrition, safety, shelter, supervision, etc. Neglect abuse can also include provision of love and attention. The abuse is takes place by the victim not receiving their required level of care and support due to either laziness or unwillingness to perform the necessary by the carer in place. Through this neglect the victim’s quality of life is greatly reduced or even put at dangerous risk.
Physical Abuse can take place in any setting; at home, at school, at work, in the street etc. This type of abuse is often the extension of a means of punishment or act to control. Physical abuse to children is very common in stressful households where parents or older siblings themselves were not exposed to positive parenting models. One third of child victims that endure physical abuse go onto become perpetrators of physical violence themselves later in their adult life.
Sexual Abuse can be in the form of a one-off attack (rape) or periodic verbal and/or physical molestation or harassment. Sex abuse can take place in any setting; in the home, at school, at work, in the street etc. Sex abuse to children is reported to affect approximately 20% of girls and 10% of boys, and in the majority of cases the abuser is well known to the child. Cases of sex abuse in children often produce transference issues; where the victim goes onto become an abuser themselves later on in their life.
Verbal Abuse can be a one-off attack with anger or insult, or it can also be a periodic string of communication over time. The communication is consistently criticising and demeaning with the intention to break down and destroy the victim’s sense of self-worth and self-image; resulting in negative emotional well-being. Although this type of abuse does not physically harm the victim, the consequences can still be the same as those attached to other forms of abuse.
Now with the addition of the internet, there is ample opportunity for people to suffer abuse online too. This opens up abuse to be conducted without the parties present and exposure is possible 24 hours per day.
It is not uncommon for more than one type of abuse to be experienced by the victim. Many perpetrators of abuse also use denial and blame tactics to either decrease the perceived magnitude of the abuse and/or to blame its occurrence upon the victim themselves. Another trait is that they are very skilled in hiding their behaviour when it suits, which helps to deter others from the outside noticing that anything is wrong.
Abuse can be delivered by any other person or group of people. Very often the abuser will be a member of the family or a person with some form of authority; like a carer, teacher, boss or leader of a club or group. Abuse is extremely common within intimate relationships too, which is termed ‘Domestic Abuse’. If there are children in the relationship, often the victim will stay ‘for the sake of the children’.
Due to the architecture of abuse, most victims will usually not talk about their situation due to fear of further consequences from the abuser. As well as feeling embarrassed, sometimes they also fear being judged and not being believed or taken seriously by others. As time goes on, victims often begin to feel that they actually deserve the ill treatment that they are receiving. Furthermore, if the victim grew up in an abusive household, then they may even believe that their situation is normal, as they have not been closely exposed to healthy relationships.
Other factors that can aid the abusive situation include that of culture and religion, whereby some possess a belief that the male should be dominant over the female. Due to males being viewed as the more aggressive sex, there is a common perception that abuse is mostly suffered by females, whereas the reality is that many males also suffer abuse in various forms – from both other males and females.
Victims of abuse very often feel trapped and believe there is no way out. This feeling is amplified the more dependent that they are upon their abuser. Unfortunately, once they do get the courage or means to break out, the eventual reach for help comes very late.
What are the consequences of abuse?
Victims show a high correlation to impaired performance in their academic or professional output and also tend to have a high probability in engaging in criminal activity later on. Abusive behaviour administered to younger people also runs a high risk of the abuser then transferring this same behaviour onto others later in their life. They also find it difficult to build healthy and sustainable relationships.
Abuse can lead to various psychological problems for the victim, even long after the abuse has stopped taking place.
Here are the common types of psychological effects of abuse:
- Addictions
- Anxiety disorders
- Damage to self-esteem/confidence
- Depression
- Eating disorders
- Sexual problems
- Stress & Trauma disorders (PTSD)
One thing that needs to be made clear is this:
Whatever the circumstances, there is no excuse for any type of abuse – and it is not the fault of the victim.
Help is Here
The first thing that victims of abuse need to do is to hit the threshold where they decide that enough is enough and gain the power to speak out. The first step is to tell somebody else about what is going on; get the support and assistance that is needed to then make the next steps.
It is a long journey ahead to a better life, but like every journey it starts with the first step. If you are a victim of abuse, please know that you do deserve better and a better life is out there for you to enjoy.
In my work, I use a blend of various applications to help victims uncover and treat the traumas of abuse. This helps to reduce the associated anxiety and then we can begin to rebuild self-esteem and confidence. Next through working with life coaching strategies you can start to embark on a new path to a greater quality of life than you ever imagined was possible.
If you are living in a difficult and abusive situation now or you are still suffering from the aftermath of previous abuse and would like to find out more about how I can help you, then please connect with me.
(The same applies if you are the abuser within a relationship and wish to break this pattern of behaviour by seeking professional help in dealing with the issues that you feel are causing your behaviour)